Five posts left to go… I can’t believe it.
As Meagan referred to in her latest post, the time has come to start reflecting on what the heck we’ve been doing for the past year!
Tonight I want to write about what the process of blogging every second day, while simultaneously taking on a challenge every single day, for an entire year has been like. The obvious observations aside (ie. the year as demanding, eye-opening, rewarding, etc), the piece that most stands out for me is how very vulnerable this year has been. To take on substantial challenges (hey, they weren’t easy let me tell ya), many of which were about sensitive – or one could even go so far as to say in some cases provocative – topics is straight up hard. But, then to write my inner most feelings on said topics and post them online, day after day? Well, that my friends, is humbling.
First of all, until this year, I had been keeping my writing safely hidden in my journals. To simply put my writing out there, about anything, has been a leap. Then to share my thoughts, feelings, opinions, reflections (and yes, revisions) is such a personal process. Unlike writing an essay or a piece of fiction, when you blog you have very little time for editing – especially when you are writing every second day. It’s like continually having a rough draft, except that you go ahead and ‘publish’ the rough draft anyhow.
Early this morning, mid-breakfast, I received a phone call from my massage therapist asking if I was going to show up for my already half-missed appointment. Startled and dismayed at my disorganization (yes, I had completely forgot about said massage!) I apologized profusely, told my massage therapist I’d “be right there!” and scrambled out the door. No shower, no make up, no comb through the hair, no brushed teeth. Boy, did I feel
awkward, nay exposed. Yet, I went anyway because the experience of half a massage was more important to me than my bad breath – not so sure if my massage therapist felt the same way 😉 Writing this blog has kinda been like that – displaying my inner thoughts without having the time to pretty them up. A cake without the icing. A mattress without linens.
Today Meagan sent me this over text: It is a response to a question about New Year’s transformations and choosing a ‘word’ to describe one’s intentions for 2015 (you can find it in the January 2015 edition of Oprah magazine). It got me thinking. Clearly, ‘risk’ is something I’ve definitely taken on this year! I’ve put myself out there on sensitive topics such as our relationships with technology (Unplugged), the grip of consumerism (Essential Potential, Less is More) and the role of religion / spirituality in my life (Walk the Dogma). These are not easy things to talk about. They are current, controversial and loaded with values/judgments/opinions – tricky ground to navigate while at the same time striving to be genuine.
I think for 2015 I want my word to be ‘heart’ (unabashedly cheese, I know… sigh…). As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, over my adult life I have become far too cerebral. It’s insidious. Though engaging my rational, goal-oriented side has served an important purpose, it is time for me to re-connect with my heart and get the whole head/heart balance back to a better equilibrium. I don’t plan on becoming impulsive or hasty, but the time has surely come to follow my heart while making some decisions and to celebrate some important achievements I have recently made, as well as some that I am on the brink of making.
If you were to choose a word for 2015 what would it be?