I am just all a-jumble. There is a big part of me that feels really sad. I am even a wee bit weepy that this adventure is coming to a close. The year was filled with such learning – it has been an absolute privilege to meet all the different people I have met, to discuss, explore and even argue over all the different topics we have covered and to learn all the life lessons that I have this year. I am honored to have been part of something so wonderful.
The other part of me is eager and excited to find out what’s on the other side of this door. I am happy to be able to have some of my time back to focus on some of the areas that were highlighted for me in the challenges (such as exercising and meditating) and to explore some new areas in my life in a slightly new way. You see, through this journey I feel that I have gained the gift of gusto! Let me explain… I am like anyone else – I am scared to put myself out there, to do new things, to show my true feelings. I am hesitant, reluctant and nervous – just like you! It was extremely difficult to go on TV and share the blog, to approach different agencies and ask if they would be willing to partner with our project, and to bare my soul to the world, every second day. But to a level I have not experienced in the past, I now understand the real benefit of taking these risks. Pushing past this fear has not only given me new, interesting moments that I will cherish forever; it has shaped who I am in my heart. It is absolutely worth the discomfort, awkwardness, and blinding fear to gain the experiences that make my life a LIFE – rich and vibrant.
So, what’s next for me? I am not sure, but I am excited. I am definitely thinking I would like to pursue writing in some capacity. I have always loved to write and this is the part that I enjoyed about the blog the most. For me, writing is an opportunity for me to take all the thoughts and feelings that are spinning wildly around in my head and give them meaning and life on paper. As I weave each emotion into words and sentences I am able to release them in a way that allows me to share their meaning with others. I have found that sitting down in front of a blank screen and letting it all pour out of me, through my fingers and into your lives, an incredible experience. Again, I am just so grateful.
And, I am proud. I have done this! I am proud of this accomplishment and feel more and more that there is truly nothing that I can’t do in my life…the power lies within me.
So, to close, I would like to share with you a quote that I once read and have held on to for many years. This quote has always spoken to me, but it was not until the expereicne of this blog, that the meaning has rung true in such a poignant way.
There is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming. But more than that, birthing the kind of woman who can authentically say, ‘My soul is my own,’ and then embody it in her life, her spirituality, and her community is worth the risk and hardship.
~ Sue Monk Kidd
I am on the edge and am I alive and am I awake! This was an entire year of monthly challenges in search of an authentic life and I can say, loud and proud,
MY SOUL IS MY OWN!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.